“Sail on Silver Girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine”
Paul Simon
When asked what one thing she wanted out of life,
after all the success, awards, accolades and fame,
as she waded into her eighth decade, Shirley MacLaine responded,
“I want to live a life free of reluctance.”
In the second half of my life, I understand why this is a necessary pursuit.
After a solo cross-country drive with hours alone to reflect, a revisit of a family tragedy, and a brush with cancer, I realize I’ve made many choices and decisions in my life based on fear or obligation. By definition this means I’ve made them—and honored them—reluctantly.
It is a harsh recognition.
Maybe the only kind that can fuel commitment to change.
Making decisions and choices reluctantly has meant agreeing to things out of obligation or fear of being seen as…as what?
Difficult? Selfish? Not nice?
Had I actually frittered away much of my life changing what I did, what I said, what I wore,
who I was,
in order to appease others?
Or the opposite:
Doing something I longed to do, but spending so much time
over-preparing for what might go wrong that I never relinquished control enough to fully enjoy the experience.
A life of reluctance is the worst of both worlds.
“Fierce Zen” is a search for what living a life free of reluctance means.
It requires the Zen of turning inward, of listening to and trusting yourself instead of trading your self-worth for outside approval.
And it requires developing Fierce courage
to act in accordance with what you know to be true for you,
in lieu of handing your power to anyone who wants you to believe they know better.
What one thing do I want out of life?
I want to live a life free of reluctance.
So I read.
I ask.
I write.
It is a journey, and I got a late start. But I’m on the right path.
Sign up below if you’d like to ride shotgun on my travels. I will send you random updates AS I LEARN HOW TO GET BETTER AT THIS ONE THING I WILL FIND A WAY TO DO.
I will not share your email address with anyone.
Not even for Sugarfina lemon drops or good wine.
